CEP Couple : Shem and Melissa
Melissa Heng (R) with husband Shem and children, Emma, 11, and Jonah, 9. Photos: Melissa Heng.
We cannot fully understand the Good Friday event without considering it in the light of the Resurrection. Similarly, Lent cannot truly be lived out unless we see it as a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter.
We are blessed in our Catholic tradition to have many signs and symbols that lead us in this time of preparation. At Mass, the liturgical colours change from green to purple and we do not sing the “Alleluia”. All these signify the shift from a season of meditation and growth to a time of preparing our hearts to receive the Risen Christ and the gift of eternal life.
When my youngest son, Jonah, was five, he was asked by someone, “Why did Jesus have to die?”
Without skipping a beat, he confidently replied, “Jesus was the first person to die to show us that we can be alive again.”
Even as a young child, he understood the mystery of life and death: “Unless a grain of wheat shall fall upon the ground and die, it remains but a single grain with no life.” (John 12:24).
It is in this context that I would like to share how I guide my children during this solemn yet purposeful Lenten season.
Prayer
Lent is associated with three pillars: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Often, we perceive them as separate acts of preparation. But they are interconnected, and most meaningful when done together.
I guide my children’s daily prayer by choosing parts of the Sunday readings for us to reflect on as a family. We then share a word or phrase that spoke to us.
My children also relish hearing stories about the lives of the saints. For us, ‘Guess that Saint’ found in the popular Catholic app ‘Hallow’ is a fun way for us to get to know the saints and understand how they lived their lives for God with steadfast faith, sacrifice, strength, and courage.
Fasting
Alongside prayer, fasting allows my children to practise self-control and also teaches them the significance of directing its intention for the good of another person. For each week in Lent, they can choose to give up treats, screen time, or their favourite food.
Allowing my children to change their fasting choice weekly makes it easier for them to keep their commitment. They write their choice of fast, together with a prayer intention, at the start of the week, and come Sunday, we gather as a family to share how our fasting turned our focus away from ourselves and directed it towards others.
During this season, we also choose to eat at home more often, and if we happen to dine out, we choose simpler venues. The money we save in this way is then used for a charitable cause, or to buy a gift for someone we love.
Almsgiving
Jonah and Emma preparing Chinese New Year snacks and oranges for the elderly in 2022.
Finally, I teach my children that almsgiving encourages us to let go of our own comforts and desires in order to make the needs of others our own. Simple acts of kindness that we begin at Lent can become a practice in our families.
For my family, it means joining local charities to purchase gifts for underprivileged children and foreign workers living in the dormitories. It also means distributing snacks to the elderly that live in rental flats. These acts allow my children to go out into the world and live as part of the Body of Christ.
Melissa Heng is a mother to Emma, 11, and Jonah, 9. She has been a catechist for 27 years and has also served in the Couple Empowerment Programme, an affiliate of Catholic Family Life, with her husband, Shem Leong, since 2016.
Click here to read article on Catholic News: https://catholicnews.sg/2024/03/06/observing-lent-with-our-children/